You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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