what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
