I hate all girls vehemently.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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