I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
