I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
