I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
