I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
