remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
