Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
