Don't you send me to vm
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
