K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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