I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
