quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
