I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
