I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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