Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The air was thick with penises
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
