Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
