Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
