We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
