You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
