I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
