im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
