Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
