SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
