Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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