Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
