My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
