It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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