so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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