Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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