Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
