she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize