she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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