Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
