Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Pants are for mortals
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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