i just google imaged poop.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
