I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was born a porn star she said
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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