so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
