how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
