it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
