Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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