i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
