So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
