So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
