all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
