Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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