I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize