he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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