I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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