I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
