fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
