Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
