At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
