When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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