i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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