did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
