I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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