You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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