Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
