there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
