BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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