I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
