problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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