just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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