Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
