Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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